Michael’s STM Kairos Retreat
Enjoy this time of no stress and of peace my love! We should all take time daily away from everything to be with God. Soak it up! Times like these are few and far between and you will long for them one day, but it will be harder to find that time…we have to make it. I pray the peace you experience is strong enough for you to make the time for it as you go about each week moving forward. You deserve it, it’s very healthy, and it is necessary on the narrow road to Heaven. I love you!! - Mom
Hope you have fun and get a lot of the retreat. Beyond proud of you! We love you so much!!
From Matthew
Dear Michael,
I hope you enjoy your Campus Ministry retreat. I hope you are safe.
I look up to how you play basketball. I really like all the times you play basketball with me and when you drive me places.
I hope to be tall like you, or taller. I think you are funny.
It makes me feel good when you come home in a good mood, hoping that you are okay and that your knees are okay. It makes me feel good when we have conversations that don’t even make sense.
You are a great brother!
I love you, Matthew
From Mitch
Dear Michael,
“Cheese” I love you so much. I know you love me too.
I love when you play around with me and spend time with me, like when we play fight. I really liked when you took me to Surge. I would like to do that with you again soon. It makes me feel good when you bring me a drink or food or something. I’m sorry when I ignore you.
“Mitch, what else would you like to say” - Mom. “I would like to add a cheeseburger and extra sauce” - Mitch
“I’m built different.”
I love you, Mitch
From Kate
Dear Michael,
I know you’ll think I’m “cringy” if I go into too much detail, so I’ll just keep it short and sweet.
You’re a great older brother and role model. Little overprotective but I can handle it. And I guess it’s one of the few ways you show you care while still being “cool” so I’ll take it. You always know how to make me laugh and piss me off whenever you feel like it. And you’re really sweet and genuine when you want to be. You’re very helpful and smart, smartest person I know, and sometimes I get to brag about you to other people. I like your friends and how they like me, and the fact that you’re not totally against me ever coming to parties with you.
I enjoy the times we get along in car rides and you let me play my music. I’m grateful that you look out for me and don’t judge me when I do something stupid so I don’t look dumb in front of other people. And for when you do laugh at me when I’m being stupid and give me a “what are you doing” face.
For these reasons and many more are why I love you. I’m thankful to have an older brother like you that no one else has. I couldn’t imagine anyone else to take your place. I hope you get something good out of this retreat and I’ll see you when you get back.
Love, Kate
From Mom
My Dearest Michael,
You are such a GIANT piece of my heart my love!
You know I teared up writing this…and I can just hear you say right now… “Mooooom!”
Also, you should know that this is nowhere close to everything I would like to tell you…
Where do I begin? You can’t understand the love a mother has for her son. The enormous amount of overwhelming and overflowing feelings of desperately wanting to bottle up that love and all the truly precious, fleeting moments to not let time go by so fast. To freeze all of it for safekeeping, to have any time I want. It's mostly because I feel like I don’t stop to appreciate all five of you every single moment I get, knowing that time is so very precious and is the most important (you will not understand until you are much older) I know I will long for that time and love, and I know that I may have regrets that will be so painful on my heart if I don’t love you better and cherish more the time and the moments I get with you. Regrets that only I am responsible for.
I try my best most of the time, but I can do much better. I know you say I am a good Mom, but I want to do so much more for all of you, and especially you because you are the oldest and my time to love you better is so short…if you only knew the Mom I wanted to be and long to be for you. I am so sorry for the times you may not know that I realize frustrate you - the messy house, the gross carpet in the boys room, the uncooked and missing meals, the unclean and missing laundry, the hesitation to have friends over, the embarrassment you might have, the silent wishes you might have for me to get it all straight and provide better for you, but most importantly these two:
the knees for prayer and teachings and conversation as a family, and the TIME I waste not spending with you. That is why anytime you talk, I want to stop and listen, anytime you are there for me to hug, I want it to last.
I would like to spend more real time with you, love. And our prayer life as a family is lacking and is my utmost regret…as Dad & I are responsible for your soul and in getting you to Heaven. I am going to do better because I love you so much, and because God loves you and I so much more than that.
It’s why I don’t want to think of you going off to college. It’s selfish, but it’s also normal. But all that being said, I so very very very much look forward to each stage of your life that is yet to come. I just want to love you more…which I can and I will…but as you get older, the way my love can be displayed changes…and that is the part I am not ready for…and I am not ready to see you less. I love you so much!!
It’s the precious gift of time to love you in the way a mother can love her son as an infant, a toddler, a kid, and already a little different now as a teen…the way that love can be shown is so powerful and so rushed it seems as I look back.
When I hug you, when I watch how fast you are growing, when I think of you leaving one day, I almost always picture you as an infant, curled up in my arms in only a diaper with a hairy back and hairy ears. Funny, yes! But so sweet, so precious, so very perfect…the perfect picture of love! And such a blessing from God I only deserve because of the love He has for me, and the love He has for each of us, you included of course!
For a minute, imagine the deepest love you have ever felt, the deepest longing…God has that for you as if you were the only person in the world, one-on-one. Yes, you hear it often, but think about it…
I just recently thought of it when thinking of my love for you. You cannot even begin to imagine my love for you…I know the longing I have to love you more and better…and that is only a drop in the bucket compared to God’s direct love and longing for each of us. Never forget that, live by it, and follow it. It is THE ONLY thing that will truly matter and that is truly the answer in the hard times. It makes the hard times easier, try to grasp and understand how to do that sooner than later, it guides you to joy even in the hard times…I’m still working on that. That love from God is also the answer to all the good times, the time to praise and be thankful…actually, all times are times for praise and thanks. You know what I mean.
Michael, I am so very PROUD and full of GENUINE JOY anytime you are around. To watch you as you grow into the man I see you turning into is just amazing. It can brighten up any bad moment or bad day, and is another unexplainable feeling…owed all to God because He made you the way you are...Dad and I don’t have much to do with it…its all you and God. You are AMAZING, you are an INSPIRATION, you are MORE than you think of yourself, you are LOVED so much, you are CHERISHED beyond imagination, you are CARING, you are emphatic, you are grounded, you are dedicated, you are smart, you are focused, you are determined, you are a stud, you are handsome, you are kind, you are sensitive, you are admired, I could go on and on.
All that being said, PLEASE UNDERSTAND THIS:
There is NEVER, EVER ANYTHING you can say or do or think, no mistake, no accident, NOTHING AT ALL that will ever make me love you less. You will make mistakes, you may not always make the grade you want or that you THINK we want, you will sin, you will fail, you will maybe even have small crash and burns, but you will ALWAYS be loved by God above all, and by Dad and I next in a way that is incapable of changing.
That might be able to be said by most parents, but what I can promise you is that you will never permanently see a change in how we look at you or view you that doesn’t even really relate to never stopping love you. You are that special, you are that awesome, you are that amazing because you are a huge gift to us - the gift is there and will always be - it doesn’t matter what the gift does, what choices it makes…we are grateful for it and we will cherish it like God cherishes us, even though we sin. NEVER forget, nothing can change our love AND I promise nothing will change how we look at you. You are our first light, our first joy.
Im almost done for now…but I want you to always remember your Saint. Follow his example and call on him. You represent him so well and should always strive to be that for those around you…a warrior that put the world before himself, a defender in battle against evil…because it is all around, much more than we realize. So be that warrior that beats him…St. Michael won and always will for God…let that be your guiding light.
I love you so very very much Michael!!!
Love, Mom
From Dad
Dear Michael,
Before you were born, I never really thought about what it would be like to be a dad. All I can say is, I must be pretty damn good at being a dad because look how good you have turned out so far.
I truly could not be more proud of you. I am so extremely impressed with all that you have become. Of course your success in the classroom and on the basketball court have made me so proud, but I’m also beyond proud of the overall young man you have become. I just can’t believe how time has flown by, and watching you grow up has been one of the biggest joys of my life. I truly could not have dreamed up a better son, and I would not trade you for the world.
I know I get on you sometimes for being hard on your siblings, but you really are a great big brother to Kate, Matthew, and Mitch. I see how you are with them, and I truly can see how much you love them and care about them. I know they love and care about you as well because I can see how much they look up to you and want your approval.
I know we focus mostly on basketball, but you and I both know the most important thing in our lives is our faith in God and our family Without God we would be lost. It really has been a joy and a blessing watching you grow in your faith. Seeing you be so involved with campus ministry, and being someone that other kids look up to has made me so proud of you. I often think about how well rounded you are, and it kind of blows my mind.
The fact that when you were being born I thought at first that you were an alien baby and to see where you are now is so amazing and crazy. I’m so lucky to be able to call you my son, and please know that I will always be here for you.
I hope and pray that you have an amazing retreat and you get everything you hope to get out of it. Just remember, with a strong faith in God all things are possible.
I love you son with all my heart and I look forward to watching you grow each and everyday.
Love, Dad
